My Dear Friends,

I know… it’s been a while. Like you…, I’ve been very busy with life and continuous personal development.

I’ve had to focus so… much on some really deep and meaningful family and personal needs that are different from the usual everyday activities or events.

I hope you’ve all been well, happy and able to focus on what’s important to YOU in your life.

I hope you’ve achieved your goals so far and that you’ve enjoyed your journey. If you haven’t achieved them as you hoped for, it’s okay. Embrace what you receive.

I also hope that you’ve achieved all types of goals other than just those material goals, particularly anything to do with your own spiritual needs that you know deeply but no one else would understand.  Only YOU.  Please believe in whatever that is and believe in yourself.  Even if it’s to do with your feelings, believe it’s real…! The only difference is that you or others cannot physically touch or see it but you know it’s there, real DEEP… in your heart…! right…? Because YOU are the only one who can feel it.  The only trouble is, if that need has some dependency on others’ cooperation, acceptance or even willingness to trade with you…, this is when it is highly challenging and many people finish with disappointment rather than achievement.  I trust that you won’t be disappointed as I am confident that you know how to deal with those challenges you may encounter and you know how to control your own feelings so you can come out fine.

Whatever you feel is real and you are allowed to embrace it without allowing others, cultural or religious influence to force you to deny it.  We are humans and we have feelings that’s given to us by the Creator.  Some of us are more emotional while others may not be.  We are allowed to accept and embrace our feelings, just be aware that you may not be able to bring others into your zone for whatever reason and that’s okay, providing that you’re okay with it.  The best way is to just embrace and accept whatever you’re given, as you cannot control others but can always work on controlling your own feelings.

YES…, I hear you…, it’s not easy and often it hurts but please be patient with yourself and whoever that’s involved in your journey.  If it’s that easy, everyone would be jumping with joy all the time with everything they want but you and I know better than that.  That’s not the case…, right…? Just remember that valuable things don’t come easy.  Hard work and physical, mental and spiritual efforts are required, whilst going through obstacles and rocky journey with a few step backs along the way, right…?  That’s okay.  Just keep getting up and move forward with gratitude, accepting what you’re given, no matter how much less than what you expect.

Just remember, GOOD things don’t come easy, never…!  So of course we need to be courageous, resilient and perseverant to achieve valuable things.

Also remember, we have to remain graceful and humble, as after all, we are only human beings.  We don’t have all the Powers, only the willingness and the motivation to learn, to improve and to keep moving forward enjoying this journey so called LIFE.  All The Best.

Your Coach, Tenny 🙂

Let’s welcome the new year of 2017 with warmth, grace and positive energy. Many people come up with a new year resolution and set up some new goals but often have difficulties achieving them. This is because the reality of life is often different from what we plan and it is common that we get easily distracted by things we encounter in our journey, rather than focusing on our plan.

In some ways it is good to be spontaneous and get lost in the moment of each experience of our journey without being tied down to specific tasks set in the plan. However, it is important to set goals and to focus on our path or direction without forgetting to enjoy the moment during the journey itself.

To enjoy our journey, it is important that we know our passion so we can set our goals in accordance with what we love, not for the sake of recognition or financial gain, which is  often what we tend to be driven by, because of the perception of the society. Our society seems to perceive or measure one’s success by an achievement of status or financial position, lacking value on spiritual gain such as contentment, happiness and the enjoyment of the journey.

To succeed in achieving our goals, we need to stay motivated. To stay motivated constantly and consistently, there are certain rituals we need to do on a daily basis and to be able to do those rituals, we need self-discipline. To develop self-discipline, we need to develop certain habits. Below are a few things we can do in our day-to-day life to help us stay motivated. Most of all, remember to enjoy the journey everyday.

1. Get to know the purpose of your own life.
2. Set some kind of goals and time frames when you would like to achieve them.
3. Have ‘a daily to do list’. It does not have to be formal or rigid, just some kind of a list you can quickly write in our phone or diary. It helps remembering them if you write them down. Set an approximate time when you plan to do each activity on the day. Be realistic and do not have too many activities on your list. In fact, include your break, rest, sleep and meal times.
4. Develop a habit of getting out of bed early each morning, starting with a large glass of water and some healthy breakfast which includes carb, protein and fruit.
5. To get up early in the morning, you need to develop a habit of going to bed early enough to give you 7-8 sleep each night.
6. Do a 30 minute exercise daily, even if it is only a brisk walk.
7. Drink a total of 3 litres of water everyday excluding tea or coffee.
8. Be excited about starting your day no matter what you need to do.
9. Acknowledge and greet others with friendly genuine gesture.
10. Smile and be grateful for what you have now without anticipating too much of the unknown.
11. Give, love and help others more but expect nothing, as the gifts due to you will come anyway.
12. Whilst we must be trustworthy, be aware that not every single individual is actually trustworthy. So watch your back without being judgmental or fearful.

Try to build up these rituals this year and see how you go. Review each day, week and/or month and make a note how much more you can achieve once these rituals become habits. You would be surprise to see the results.

All the best and keep smlling. We are lucky to be alive, to be able to read information like this, to be able to apply the theory and to turn our dreams into reality.

‘LOVE’ is such a strong word and used a lot in different context all the time. Many people talk and think about it a lot, even when they don’t feel loved or are not able to give it due to challenging circumstances they may be facing at that time.

I believe that love comes to you a lot when you are able to give it to others first, just like anything, giving usually comes first before you receive.

Love is a deep attraction one has for another person, a pet or an object because of the other party’s appearance, behaviour, personality, character, etc. most of the time, although there is unconditional love as a result of certain relationships or connections, often between family members, special friends and/or between people and their pets.

Let’s talk about love between individuals. When two people love each other, they touch each other’s soul. There is something deeply in common and meaningful for each other.

I believe that, if two people trully love each other, they should be honest with and trust each other, respect each other, care for each other’s well being and welfare, not only because of their physical attractions, but what should come first though?

What really facinates me, for some reason, I notice that when two people end-up together, they usually start from having physical attractions first but may not have the same reasons why they decide to stick together for a long time. Why is that? Many reasons of course. It could be because of cultural, religous and/or social pressures. Or perhaps they just decide to settle as it is the easiest or the most convenient life style to have.

If two people feel deeply in-love with each other for the same reasons, that would be such a blessing, don’t you think? If this is you, cherish that, as it doesn’t happen to everyone.

One may say, the problem is, we don’t know how exactly the other person feels about you and for what reason they say they love you. Do you trust the words you receive and/or the behaviours you see? You wouldn’t know unless you trust the person. So trust may be the most important foundation when you decide to develop a loving relationship. Hangon, one may say, what if you are not physically attracted to the person? So… is being physically attracted more important then? So it goes on like this. Before you know it, you are already involved with a person whom you were physically attracted to but the person is not trustworthy. What do you do then? Often people decide to break up the relationship and start all over again, which is usually harder to establish a second or third long term relationship, as you become more cautious as to whether you should trust the next person or not. Guess what usually happens from here? you then start looking for someone you can trust even without having the physical attraction you want. After a while, the relationship becomes stale and boring then. So what happens then? Who knows? Different people decide to do different things. Strong people would talk about it and find ways to spark their love again and again so they can have a reasonably happy relationship forever with everythng going just nicely. The reason I say reasonably happy, it’s because the level of physical attraction was never high enough in the first place but they were sensible people who chose a trustworthy partner before they worry too much about their physical attraction. What about money? one may ask. Well…, that may have a similar effect as the physical attraction, although money can be more powerful which may be harmful, depends on the owner. So it comes back to the person’s good personality.

My friends, I will post more articles later and talk more about this thing called ‘love’ that we all like to have.

Finally, I think ‘love’ is a sincere and deep attraction, trust, respect and care between two people.

For now, remember to express your feelings of love openly, honestly and congruently. Basically tell him/her that you love them. If you are too shy or are not open about your feelings of love for someone who may feel the same about you, you both may miss-out on spending your life together. Also remember not to use this word ‘love’ willy nilly. Only say it when you really mean it, when you feel that sincere and deep attraction, trust, respect and care for the person.

That’s all for now. Take care.

Our life can be easily influenced by all types of external activities around us, whether they are good or bad, positive or negative. Therefore, we need to be really aware of our surrounding and our reaction to what goes on. Most of all we need to be internally strong, so we can resist certain external influences that’s unhealthy.

It is extremelly important to surround ourselves with positive and healthy environment, keeping away from negativity whenever we can and do what’s required to stay positive, motivated and in control.

Yes, it’s easy said than done. It comes down to how well our subconscious mind is trained. When we have healthy mind we also have healthy body.

There are many methods how to train your mind. First of all, I believe that regular meditation, yoga, self or facilitated hypno therapy, reading self development books, attending or listening to health care seminars, taking adequate amount of nutritional supplementation, as food alone is not enough these days and simply choosing the right types of people to hang-out with. This means, positive and healthy minded people are good to hang around with and to chat with, as their positive outlook and their bright smile are contageous and would rub on.

Please make conscious decisions to do the above daily. If you need guidance, approach the right person to help you.

All the best and take care.

I am sure those who are reading this right now are well enough and capable enough to be reading and I am sure you are grateful for that.

If you would, let’s take a minute to pray and pay respect to those good innocent people who got killed for no reason other than an act of hatred. That makes me feel extremely sad and puzzled, asking myself why we can’t all be respectful and kind to each other, so we can have peaceful and safe life, as we all deserve that, no matter who we are. How hard is it?

For some, being respectul and kind may be hard, why? who knows? Maybe they haven’t been taught how or maybe they’ve had such hard life themselves and have become angry. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make sense to me, why one needs to hurt another. That is just so…odd, when we are all just humble human beings who were born to live on this abundant planet earth, if only we can all take care of it and of each other.

Let’s learn how to be first of all kind to ourselves, so we can be happy and satisfied with our own life. Secondly, think how we feel when we receive kindness from others. We feel good, right? Thirdly, invest in an act of kindness for others daily, make it a habit and enjoy the journey of making someone smile everyday.

Being kind to self is simply making time and effort to get enough sleep, fuel, exercise and relaxation. I know…, it’s easy said than done. Like me, I should be asleep right now but I can’t help sharing my thoughts about this, so I will finish this first and then go to bed soon, after I drink some more water.

I don’t know about you but when I smile, I feel good and I am sure it makes the other person that I smile to, good as well. To me, that’s a very easy habit of kindness. Don’t you think? Try it and make it your habit.

Another one that’s easy to do is sharing a little bit of food with others around you. How about cooking hearty food for your family and sharing a block or a box of chocolate with your friends. That’ll make them smile.

My husband often bring a flower from the garden after he does the gardening and I would bring out a cup of coffee and a piece of cake in his break. That’s easy, yet, it makes us both smile.

If you have children or grandchildren, spend quality times with them. They love helping you making pastry in the kitchen on the weekend. That way everyone will benefit of eating a nice pie for dinner. That’ll certainly make everyone in the house smile.

There are endless easy and inexpensive activities we can do to be kind to self and others daily. Most importantly, enjoy the journey and smile.

Take care,

How much do you know about yourself? Most people think they know everything about themselves and they are good at judging others too. The reality is, most of the time, people don’t know much about themselves or others. They can only see the tip of the iceberg outward and often cannot see inward about themselves.

How can you learn to get to know you?

First, ask yourself a few questions and be honest with your answers. Are you happy in your own skin and satisfied with your circumstances? Map it out on a piece of paper. Draw a mind map or a life wheel with the first six major basic needs, for example: family, health, wealth, profession/career, friendship/love and hobby. Measure the level of satisfaction with each one of these major needs from 1-10, 10 being the most satisfactory. See where you are at and then put a plan in place how you can focus on the area that needs more attention. Most importantly, do it, following a well thought out, strategical and manageable plan to make sure that you achieve your goals. To succeed in this, you need to be honest, focused and disciplined. Look inward, learn about yourself more and avoid looking outward to judge others.

Secondly, you need to review the above regularly, maybe monthly initially and then three monthly once you are comfortable with your routine. Stick with the routine and avoid being distracted by less important things that no doubt would come to you rapidly. Again, external influences can easily distract your inner activities if you are not careful. Just remember, focusing on self-care to improve your qualities does not mean selfish, because, once you become a better person, you will become more helpful and useful for others and the universe.

All the best and take care.

Do you doubt yourself sometimes? or perhaps feeling intimidated by others? In fact, some people may feel depressed due to bullying. Don’t worry, it happens to many people, as long as it doesn’t happen all the time and you are willing to make changes to improve your assertiveness when dealing with certain situations or people. Anyone can learn to improve their self esteem and assertiveness to deal with difficult situations or people. You can do it..! You don’t have to feel intimidated or bullied by those who tend to put others down and act superior. You do not deserve to feel depressed, just because others decide to bully you. You have rights for respect, understanding and love. Just remember that you have to earn those values and I know you deserve it and you can do it.

I find that classy, intelligent and successful people are usually modest, graceful, loving and respectful. This is because they are secure about themselves and happy in their own skin. These people tend to be very good at giving those important values to others without expecting anything back. The reason being is because they are subconsciously certain about their position, so they don’t need external influences to make them feel confident about themselves.

If you are that kind of person also, or have become that kind of person through learning and development as well as life experiences, you are likely to attrack similar types of people and you can influence others to become like you . Once that’s achieved, stick with the type of people who can contribute toward your development to become a more confident and assertive person and maintain the positive and happy environment.

Whenever possible and as soon as you realise that you cannot influence others in a positive way, keep away from people who tend to let you down for no apparent reason. If it is not avoidable, make sure you apply your skills to deal with those people well and assertively, letting them know that you too have your rights of respect, understanding and compassion. When you do it, speak with them in a polite, professional manner, making your point and opinion clearly, intelligently and if possible, add a little humour.

Send me an email to tenny@icandolifecoaching.com if you need some help. I can even send you articles or reports about specific subject or answer your specific questions.

Take care, Tenny 🙂

How is life for you right now? If you are happy, I am happy for you. If not, you are okay and you are not alone. That’s normal and that’s the reality of life. We all experience the ups and downs of life. It’s just how we deal with each one of our experiences is what makes a difference. We manage and cope with different situations differently, depending on our moods and our strength at that time. The key to the whole thing is learning how to take control in the way we deal with each and every situation.

To manage our coping mechanism well all the time, we require conscious awareness of ourselves, our environment and our ability to deal with each situation. Again…, just like anything in life, whilst it is easy to say and make a suggestion, the reality of doing it is a different story, because our unconscious mind does not always know what we want unless we train it to wipe the unwanted and plant the wanted. The reason why it happens is because our unconscious mind is often vested with things that we were conditioned to believe and they are often the unwanted, such as fear or disappointment.

Now let’s look at a few things when you are happy? Is it when you look good, vibrant and young? Is it when you feel motivated and energetic? Is it when you eat your favourite food or drink your favourite beverage? Is it when you wear your favourite clothes, shoes, hat, jewellery, etc? Is it when you see your favourite people? Is it when you shop? Is it when you are on a holiday? Is it when you serve and help others? Is it when you are free from hassle? Is it when you know you are healthy? Is it when you know your family members are happy and healthy? Is it when you love and are loved? Is it when you are financially independent? OR Is it when you have all of them? Is it possible to have them all?

Well…different people are happy because of different reasons. Some are happy most of the time, even when they have very little and live a simple life, while others are never happy, no matter how much they have.

Personally, I am usually happy when I have enough self esteem, confidence and assertiveness in what I do. I am happy when I am relaxed, well rested, motivated and energetic. Because I like to be confident in the subject matter that I am involved in, this is probably why I like learning. I have been gradually learning how to develop and strengthen my inner happiness where the sparkle comes from within, feeling happy and confident in my own skin, knowing that I can stand on my own two feet to live comfortably and happily, without having to rely on others, while at the same time, am able to respect, appreciate and cherish the existence and the support of others. I think this is also why I like to work hard to achieve results for comfort and independence.

It was not easy for me to fully understand and achieve inner happiness. Even if part of it was in me, I was not aware of it until I fully felt it. I used to hear people saying “find your inner happiness” and used to read about it but didn’t quite get it until I achieved it myself, although I continue having to put a lot of effort in maintaining it. This is because external influences can easily disturb anyone’s strength and/or internal happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel it all the time. However, as long as I feel it most of the time, then I have achieved it.

Happiness is a feeling, so, no one can really achieve it through reading, listening or talking about it alone. One must learn and master layers of factors first, such as self awareness including their own potential, self confidence, self respect, self control and a whole range of communication skills, as well as understanding others, their environment, behaviours and other external factors. We can learn and master these things through various methods and techniques. Once a person masters these things, the person can gradually control every situation where nothing can bother them, rather, they can focus on the positive side of every situation and move on with a smile on their face.

Hey..by the way extra money and good career help as well and once you have achieved your strong interpersonal skills, you can then find the right career and earn good money. Money always help improve many other material and physical factors providing you manage your behaviour and your money well.

It is not easy to begin with. It is in fact very challenging to do and you must be fully aware and engaged at all times with everything around you, and then deal with each situation gracefully with full control if/when you are required to deal with them. Sometimes you may have to avoid a situation if you can. You must be tuned in at all times and it will become easier each day to a point it will become natural or subconscious. That’s when you know you have achieved the incredible feeling of inner happiness. Once you achieve it, it does not mean it will stay with you forever if you are not careful and if you don’t maintain it. It depends on how you place yourself in society. Beware, you need to remain in control. Stay away from negativity whenever possible and stick around people and environment that can help you maintain your happiness. It’s amazing how your mind works when it comes to external influences. Most people can easily be lead to situations you don’t want to be in if you are not careful.

When I say avoid negativity, it does not mean not facing unavoidable and unfortunate or unpleasant situation that you must face as part of life. It just means that you do not intentionally get involved in bad behaviours or with people with bad behaviours. For example: gossiping or judging others; demonstrating jealousy, anger or intimidation; whining and complaining without doing anything to change or fix the problem. Avoid these things and start establishing a better path for yourself.

Let me know if I can help you in anyway. In fact, I can send you free reports how to improve your self awareness, self confidence, etc. as listed above.

All you have to do is dropping me a quick email to: tenny@icandolifecoaching.com and ask me how I can help you.

For now, cheers & take care. 🙂

Over the years, we’ve all gone through our own tapestry of life, experiencing different patterns and colours of various activities. Some are good and some are not so good but that’s life and we all know it. Different people experience different circumstances and we all manage them differently. Our cultural background, environment, upbringing, education and circumstances influence what we do and how we deal with everything that we go through. My version of the stories would be unique to me and yours are unique to you but hopefully we can share and learn from each other.

Significant Life Experiences that made me wonder why and how they even happened.

I have experienced and learnt a few significant life lessons that have made significant changes in my life. I wish to share a few of them with you with my hope that they are useful to you too, although, unless one experiences something themselves, one can never exactly know how it feels and how it affects them but here are some of my experiences.

I grew up in Indonesia in a stable family environment with a very good family background and upbringing. We had very strict values where my parents set upon me. The only thing my parents never stopped me do was learning, which was the most valuable part of life activity I had then and still do now. I feel grateful that I’ve always been able to learn something new, with full responsibilities in also doing what I need to do happily as a good contributor and citizen.

Without consciously knowing it I had bigger things in mind than I even realised. I didn’t even know what they were, I just used to always love learning new things and achieve more each day, for no particular reason, it’s almost just part of why and how I breath.

Well…, I did extremelly well at school and wanted to study architecture at the Institute of Technology Bandung but that never happened. I did office management, secretarial and languages instead. I did have a conscious decision making, telling myself that these skillsets would give me a job sooner and are flexible being able to travel with them using those skills anywhere in the world immediately. It’s a strange train of thought, even though I had no particular conscious plans to go and or live outside Indonesia but for some reason I migrated to Australia in early 1984 after getting married to an English-Australian man in 1984.

Without realising at the time those things happened, after I looked back much later in life, I noticed that so many things if not everything happened to me as results of my own thoughts at some point in my life prior to the events happening. I trully believe in that, as I have had so many incidences that have become too many to be called coincidence

For instance, my decision to take up office management skills with reasons to be able to have flexible skillsets anywhere in the world was formed when I first met international exchanged students whom gave me inspiration to see other parts of the world and to meet different people from other parts of the world. It was an unconscious thought and it was a thought, a wish and a dream without knowing how I would ever be able to achieve it.

Another obvious event is about the age when I got married. When I was 17 or 18 I picked up my cousin’s magazine. In it, there was an article, which I can’t remember what the title of the article was but I read it and amongst many things, I remember reading that the ideal age to be married was the age of 25 and the ideal age to have your first child is the age of 26. I can’t remember any other details of the article. Who knows where that came from and why but I must have agreed with the idea and thought it was a good thing and wished for it to happened to me. That’s my theor anyway, cos, guess what..?

After experiencing having a few boyfriends in my late teens and early 20s with nothing serious happening, by the time I turned 25 years of age, when I met my now husband of 32 years, I started taking things more seriously. As soon as he showed his serious intent for a long term relationship and asked if I would marry him, I was able to make a good decision. The fact that I really liked him and after I learnt that he was genuine, kind, caring and loving, I felt confident that he was the one and I said ‘yes’. So we got married only after knowing each other for 3-4 months. For some reason I felt as if I had known him for years. We both felt comfortable with each other and enjoyed each other’s company, feeling secure and happy. So why would you waste anymore time?

Anyway, I got married at the age of 25 to a kind, honest, caring and loving man of 26. We’ve been married for almost 32 years with 2 beautiful children and 2 beautiful grand children. And guess what? I had my first child at the age of 26 and our first daughter also had her first child at the age of 26. So I guess, it happened, because one day when I was 18 or so, I must have subconsciously thought that it was what I wanted to happen to me in my life and the universe delivered. I believe that this is because my subconscious mind worked toward attracting what I wanted.

I actually lost count as to how many things so far in my life where those sorts of things have happened, whether it’s my jobs I have had, parking spots, material things like the type of cars we’ve had, the type of friends I attrack and many more. This is the reason why I believe in the law of attraction and I am keen to keep training my mind to think about what I want, rather than stressing about what I don’t want. It’s easy said than done, not as simple as it sounds actually. This is because our subconscious mind has it’s own agenda, depending on our upbringing, environment and habits.

We need to train our mind to attract what we want.  One of the techniques is undertaking hypnotherapy sessions, allowing your subconscious mind to listen to powerful guidance, using advanced neuro linguistic programning. Other things you can do is surrounding yourself with highly motivated and positive people and focus on good habits.

Why don’t you look back on the things you have achieved and see if you remember if one day in your past, you had actually wanted them badly, so your mind and body just worked toward achieving them. You will probably find many things. For that reason, why don’t we program our subconscious mind to attract all the things we want and avoid things we don’t want. Let’s start and see what happens.

If you need assistance to do it, let me know, as I can give you a few techniques you can use.

Happy Life is when you achieve what you want and now you know how to program it.