How is life for you right now? If you are happy, I am happy for you. If not, you are okay and you are not alone. That’s normal and that’s the reality of life. We all experience the ups and downs of life. It’s just how we deal with each one of our experiences is what makes a difference. We manage and cope with different situations differently, depending on our moods and our strength at that time. The key to the whole thing is learning how to take control in the way we deal with each and every situation.

To manage our coping mechanism well all the time, we require conscious awareness of ourselves, our environment and our ability to deal with each situation. Again…, just like anything in life, whilst it is easy to say and make a suggestion, the reality of doing it is a different story, because our unconscious mind does not always know what we want unless we train it to wipe the unwanted and plant the wanted. The reason why it happens is because our unconscious mind is often vested with things that we were conditioned to believe and they are often the unwanted, such as fear or disappointment.

Now let’s look at a few things when you are happy? Is it when you look good, vibrant and young? Is it when you feel motivated and energetic? Is it when you eat your favourite food or drink your favourite beverage? Is it when you wear your favourite clothes, shoes, hat, jewellery, etc? Is it when you see your favourite people? Is it when you shop? Is it when you are on a holiday? Is it when you serve and help others? Is it when you are free from hassle? Is it when you know you are healthy? Is it when you know your family members are happy and healthy? Is it when you love and are loved? Is it when you are financially independent? OR Is it when you have all of them? Is it possible to have them all?

Well…different people are happy because of different reasons. Some are happy most of the time, even when they have very little and live a simple life, while others are never happy, no matter how much they have.

Personally, I am usually happy when I have enough self esteem, confidence and assertiveness in what I do. I am happy when I am relaxed, well rested, motivated and energetic. Because I like to be confident in the subject matter that I am involved in, this is probably why I like learning. I have been gradually learning how to develop and strengthen my inner happiness where the sparkle comes from within, feeling happy and confident in my own skin, knowing that I can stand on my own two feet to live comfortably and happily, without having to rely on others, while at the same time, am able to respect, appreciate and cherish the existence and the support of others. I think this is also why I like to work hard to achieve results for comfort and independence.

It was not easy for me to fully understand and achieve inner happiness. Even if part of it was in me, I was not aware of it until I fully felt it. I used to hear people saying “find your inner happiness” and used to read about it but didn’t quite get it until I achieved it myself, although I continue having to put a lot of effort in maintaining it. This is because external influences can easily disturb anyone’s strength and/or internal happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel it all the time. However, as long as I feel it most of the time, then I have achieved it.

Happiness is a feeling, so, no one can really achieve it through reading, listening or talking about it alone. One must learn and master layers of factors first, such as self awareness including their own potential, self confidence, self respect, self control and a whole range of communication skills, as well as understanding others, their environment, behaviours and other external factors. We can learn and master these things through various methods and techniques. Once a person masters these things, the person can gradually control every situation where nothing can bother them, rather, they can focus on the positive side of every situation and move on with a smile on their face.

Hey..by the way extra money and good career help as well and once you have achieved your strong interpersonal skills, you can then find the right career and earn good money. Money always help improve many other material and physical factors providing you manage your behaviour and your money well.

It is not easy to begin with. It is in fact very challenging to do and you must be fully aware and engaged at all times with everything around you, and then deal with each situation gracefully with full control if/when you are required to deal with them. Sometimes you may have to avoid a situation if you can. You must be tuned in at all times and it will become easier each day to a point it will become natural or subconscious. That’s when you know you have achieved the incredible feeling of inner happiness. Once you achieve it, it does not mean it will stay with you forever if you are not careful and if you don’t maintain it. It depends on how you place yourself in society. Beware, you need to remain in control. Stay away from negativity whenever possible and stick around people and environment that can help you maintain your happiness. It’s amazing how your mind works when it comes to external influences. Most people can easily be lead to situations you don’t want to be in if you are not careful.

When I say avoid negativity, it does not mean not facing unavoidable and unfortunate or unpleasant situation that you must face as part of life. It just means that you do not intentionally get involved in bad behaviours or with people with bad behaviours. For example: gossiping or judging others; demonstrating jealousy, anger or intimidation; whining and complaining without doing anything to change or fix the problem. Avoid these things and start establishing a better path for yourself.

Let me know if I can help you in anyway. In fact, I can send you free reports how to improve your self awareness, self confidence, etc. as listed above.

All you have to do is dropping me a quick email to: tenny@icandolifecoaching.com and ask me how I can help you.

For now, cheers & take care. 🙂