How much do you know about yourself? Most people think they know everything about themselves and they are good at judging others too. The reality is, most of the time, people don’t know much about themselves or others. They can only see the tip of the iceberg outward and often cannot see inward about themselves.

How can you learn to get to know you?

First, ask yourself a few questions and be honest with your answers. Are you happy in your own skin and satisfied with your circumstances? Map it out on a piece of paper. Draw a mind map or a life wheel with the first six major basic needs, for example: family, health, wealth, profession/career, friendship/love and hobby. Measure the level of satisfaction with each one of these major needs from 1-10, 10 being the most satisfactory. See where you are at and then put a plan in place how you can focus on the area that needs more attention. Most importantly, do it, following a well thought out, strategical and manageable plan to make sure that you achieve your goals. To succeed in this, you need to be honest, focused and disciplined. Look inward, learn about yourself more and avoid looking outward to judge others.

Secondly, you need to review the above regularly, maybe monthly initially and then three monthly once you are comfortable with your routine. Stick with the routine and avoid being distracted by less important things that no doubt would come to you rapidly. Again, external influences can easily distract your inner activities if you are not careful. Just remember, focusing on self-care to improve your qualities does not mean selfish, because, once you become a better person, you will become more helpful and useful for others and the universe.

All the best and take care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you doubt yourself sometimes? or perhaps feeling intimidated by others? In fact, some people may feel depressed due to bullying. Don’t worry, it happens to many people, as long as it doesn’t happen all the time and you are willing to make changes to improve your assertiveness when dealing with certain situations or people. Anyone can learn to improve their self esteem and assertiveness to deal with difficult situations or people. You can do it..! You don’t have to feel intimidated or bullied by those who tend to put others down and act superior. You do not deserve to feel depressed, just because others decide to bully you. You have rights for respect, understanding and love. Just remember that you have to earn those values and I know you deserve it and you can do it.

I find that classy, intelligent and successful people are usually modest, graceful, loving and respectful. This is because they are secure about themselves and happy in their own skin. These people tend to be very good at giving those important values to others without expecting anything back. The reason being is because they are subconsciously certain about their position, so they don’t need external influences to make them feel confident about themselves.

If you are that kind of person also, or have become that kind of person through learning and development as well as life experiences, you are likely to attrack similar types of people and you can influence others to become like you . Once that’s achieved, stick with the type of people who can contribute toward your development to become a more confident and assertive person and maintain the positive and happy environment.

Whenever possible and as soon as you realise that you cannot influence others in a positive way, keep away from people who tend to let you down for no apparent reason. If it is not avoidable, make sure you apply your skills to deal with those people well and assertively, letting them know that you too have your rights of respect, understanding and compassion. When you do it, speak with them in a polite, professional manner, making your point and opinion clearly, intelligently and if possible, add a little humour.

Send me an email to tenny@icandolifecoaching.com if you need some help. I can even send you articles or reports about specific subject or answer your specific questions.

Take care, Tenny 🙂

How is life for you right now? If you are happy, I am happy for you. If not, you are okay and you are not alone. That’s normal and that’s the reality of life. We all experience the ups and downs of life. It’s just how we deal with each one of our experiences is what makes a difference. We manage and cope with different situations differently, depending on our moods and our strength at that time. The key to the whole thing is learning how to take control in the way we deal with each and every situation.

To manage our coping mechanism well all the time, we require conscious awareness of ourselves, our environment and our ability to deal with each situation. Again…, just like anything in life, whilst it is easy to say and make a suggestion, the reality of doing it is a different story, because our unconscious mind does not always know what we want unless we train it to wipe the unwanted and plant the wanted. The reason why it happens is because our unconscious mind is often vested with things that we were conditioned to believe and they are often the unwanted, such as fear or disappointment.

Now let’s look at a few things when you are happy? Is it when you look good, vibrant and young? Is it when you feel motivated and energetic? Is it when you eat your favourite food or drink your favourite beverage? Is it when you wear your favourite clothes, shoes, hat, jewellery, etc? Is it when you see your favourite people? Is it when you shop? Is it when you are on a holiday? Is it when you serve and help others? Is it when you are free from hassle? Is it when you know you are healthy? Is it when you know your family members are happy and healthy? Is it when you love and are loved? Is it when you are financially independent? OR Is it when you have all of them? Is it possible to have them all?

Well…different people are happy because of different reasons. Some are happy most of the time, even when they have very little and live a simple life, while others are never happy, no matter how much they have.

Personally, I am usually happy when I have enough self esteem, confidence and assertiveness in what I do. I am happy when I am relaxed, well rested, motivated and energetic. Because I like to be confident in the subject matter that I am involved in, this is probably why I like learning. I have been gradually learning how to develop and strengthen my inner happiness where the sparkle comes from within, feeling happy and confident in my own skin, knowing that I can stand on my own two feet to live comfortably and happily, without having to rely on others, while at the same time, am able to respect, appreciate and cherish the existence and the support of others. I think this is also why I like to work hard to achieve results for comfort and independence.

It was not easy for me to fully understand and achieve inner happiness. Even if part of it was in me, I was not aware of it until I fully felt it. I used to hear people saying “find your inner happiness” and used to read about it but didn’t quite get it until I achieved it myself, although I continue having to put a lot of effort in maintaining it. This is because external influences can easily disturb anyone’s strength and/or internal happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel it all the time. However, as long as I feel it most of the time, then I have achieved it.

Happiness is a feeling, so, no one can really achieve it through reading, listening or talking about it alone. One must learn and master layers of factors first, such as self awareness including their own potential, self confidence, self respect, self control and a whole range of communication skills, as well as understanding others, their environment, behaviours and other external factors. We can learn and master these things through various methods and techniques. Once a person masters these things, the person can gradually control every situation where nothing can bother them, rather, they can focus on the positive side of every situation and move on with a smile on their face.

Hey..by the way extra money and good career help as well and once you have achieved your strong interpersonal skills, you can then find the right career and earn good money. Money always help improve many other material and physical factors providing you manage your behaviour and your money well.

It is not easy to begin with. It is in fact very challenging to do and you must be fully aware and engaged at all times with everything around you, and then deal with each situation gracefully with full control if/when you are required to deal with them. Sometimes you may have to avoid a situation if you can. You must be tuned in at all times and it will become easier each day to a point it will become natural or subconscious. That’s when you know you have achieved the incredible feeling of inner happiness. Once you achieve it, it does not mean it will stay with you forever if you are not careful and if you don’t maintain it. It depends on how you place yourself in society. Beware, you need to remain in control. Stay away from negativity whenever possible and stick around people and environment that can help you maintain your happiness. It’s amazing how your mind works when it comes to external influences. Most people can easily be lead to situations you don’t want to be in if you are not careful.

When I say avoid negativity, it does not mean not facing unavoidable and unfortunate or unpleasant situation that you must face as part of life. It just means that you do not intentionally get involved in bad behaviours or with people with bad behaviours. For example: gossiping or judging others; demonstrating jealousy, anger or intimidation; whining and complaining without doing anything to change or fix the problem. Avoid these things and start establishing a better path for yourself.

Let me know if I can help you in anyway. In fact, I can send you free reports how to improve your self awareness, self confidence, etc. as listed above.

All you have to do is dropping me a quick email to: tenny@icandolifecoaching.com and ask me how I can help you.

For now, cheers & take care. 🙂